While this list gives some of the warning signs of a cheating spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend; make sure to proceed with caution. Just because your wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend displays a few of the signs does NOT mean they are cheating on you. It could be any number of reasons such as a problem at work, with family, finances or any number of things that they are not sharing with you.
There are a variety of techniques to substantiate claims of infidelity, cheating boyfriend or girlfriend, but video surveillance is the most effective when calling out a cheater. It is hard to deny an affair if they are caught on tape. Seeing a cheating spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend caught on tape is not pleasant, but if an investigator uncovers proof of cheating, such evidence can give you the facts you need to confront your mate. After speaking with you about your specific case, we can better determine which technique would be most effective to your situation.
Our private detective will provide a thorough investigation and supply you with video or photographic evidence to assist you in taking the appropriate steps to resolve the issue. You will be able to get regular updates about the status of the investigation and given the choice of how long to continue the investigation. Every case and client is unique, requiring individual attention to detail. We consider time, cost and complexity in each of our client's investigation issues and use only those resources that are necessary to resolve their case. We understand that domestic investigations are difficult and guarantee to be discreet and confidential.
If evidence shows your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend has been unfaithful, DO NOT confront them. Your initial instinct would be to confront them about your suspicions of cheating, but you do not want to tip them off to your mistrust. If you make your feelings known and there is actually an affair taking place, the accused will become more careful about their activities, thus making them harder to catch.
NEW! Gotcha! Investigative Service also has an unmanned surveillance program. Click here for more information.
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Gotcha! Investigative Service can provide the evidence you need to resolve your suspicions. Our investigators will listen to your suspicions, take them seriously, and discuss how the investigation is to be handled. It is important to be straightforward with the investigator; not giving pertinent information could keep you from getting a thorough investigation.
Experts on marital problems conclude that instinct seems to be the very best indicator of an affair. Studies have confirmed it, showing that 85% of women and 50% of men who suspected that their partner was cheating were ultimately shown to be correct. These behaviors do not guarantee infidelity but more than two or three of these at once are justification to be suspicious. If you think that your partner is having an affair, you may notice the following changes:
1. They take or make phone calls in private. Although there may be a need for privacy when taking or making phone calls, if your partner retreats to the other room every time the phone rings, there may be something more going on, especially if this behavior is new or has suddenly become more frequent. --Michael Howard
2. They delete the text history on their phone. Most people do not bother deleting old text messages ... at least not until the phone is full. If your partner makes sure that old messages are deleted -- or worse -- they delete them as soon as they finish a conversation with someone, there may be more going on than just texting. -- Michael Howard
3. They maintain multiple e-mail or social media accounts. If you discover additional or hidden e-mail or social media sites, things are almost certainly not good. Simply put, people in committed relationships have no need to maintain accounts that their partners don't know about. If you discover one of these, it is time to be concerned. -- Michael Howard
4. They avoid family or other social events. Infidelity, whether physical or emotional, will always result in lost time with friends and family. If your partner avoids social gatherings or activities, leaves early or arrives late because of some project or task, there may be a strong chance that they are spending time with someone else, whether on the phone, the computer, or in person. -- Michael Howard
5. They suddenly spend tons of time with another person. If your partner is suddenly spending a lot of time with a colleague, co-worker, friend or even an acquaintance, particularly if that person is of the opposite sex, you may want to learn more about this relationship and the possibility that there may be an affair going on. -- Michael Howard
6. They give gifts or frequently volunteer to help another person. Although it is nice to give gifts and do kind things for friends, family members and even strangers, if your partner frequently gives gifts, especially those that are costly, take time and effort to prepare or have significant meaning, or volunteers to help out with projects around the home, this may be a sign that they are having an emotional affair. -- Michael Howard
7. You notice a different scent on them. Whether it's another woman's perfume or man's cologne or possibly a different brand of soap from showering elsewhere, your senses know things. If they are coming home freshly showered after a full day of work, the same way they left for work, you may have a hint they are having an affair. -- Wendy Kay
8. They don't touch you as much. Sometimes affection drops off a bit due to poor communication, unresolved issues or a recent argument. If this is unexplained behavior or they are repelling you with odd excuses, you may have a hint. At minimum, you have an issue in your relationship that needs to be addressed honestly. -- Wendy Kay
9. They dress differently. Have they started to dress a little differently or do they keep their vehicle a bit cleaner? Have they been acting slightly happier and more cooperative, yet all of a sudden they are busier and just leaving the house more often? (e.g. going out more often with "friends," running more errands, etc.) If so, take heed. Take interest in their new activity/involvement if you're curious about what's really going on. -- Wendy Kay
10. They leave for longer periods of time. Does your spouse usually take the dog out for a half hour run every day, but now it's a 60-90 minute walk-run? Who are they running into all of a sudden at the dog park or in the neighborhood? If it's not "chatty Pat," they may be having an affair. Go with them once in a while. -- Wendy Kay
11. They pick fights. Is your spouse starting arguments that end up in them leaving the house a lot? Are their garments coming up missing here and there? If so, something is going on! -- Wendy Kay
12. They are extra secretive. When your spouse suddenly has a change in their privacy attitude -- all of a sudden you're not supposed to know their whereabouts or who their talking to on the phone and it's not close to your birthday, anniversary or upcoming gift-giving holiday -- they may be having an affair. -- Wendy Kay
13. There is a change in the emotional quality of your relationship. This may be shown as your partner is unengaged or overly engaged. We all go through emotional changes, like the weather. However, you may notice that your partner's attitude has changed toward you over time; they may have become more self-absorbed and less interested in you or the relationship. Often, your partner may reject your offers of affection. Your best approach here is to pay attention and be curious. -- Donn Peters
14. They are extremely angry. Anger and criticism that borders on cruelty is hard to take for all of us. Your partner may treat you with rudeness or impatience. They may be more controlling and more critical than usual. You may sense an increase in the degree of unhappiness in your spouse that is difficult to understand. With some partners, you may actually see an increase in happiness as a result of being involved in an affair. -- Donn Peters
15. You notice an increase in their work or their time spent away from home.Work can be demanding. During these times of economic stress, most workplaces are demanding more and more from their employees. Workplace relationships can develop into romantic relationships simply because the amount of time spent together on a common task tends to bond people together. If your partner has trouble with boundaries, this could lead to a problem for your relationship. -- Donn Peters
16. They pay an unusual amount of attention to their appearance. This would be especially telling if up until now, your partner has not shown much attention to their appearance. If your partner is having an affair, they have found a new source of love and affection. Looking good for their paramour is very important. -- Donn Peters
17. They are overly defensive. Defensiveness exists for many reasons. In the past, were you able to discuss issues openly and calmly? What you are looking for here is an increase in the normal amount of defensiveness. -- Donn Peters
18. Their appearance has changed. Your partner, who previously dressed conservatively, is now suddenly buying designer underwear and more trendy clothes. Or, your partner, who never spent much time grooming themselves, is now fussy about how their hair looks and uses grooming products they've never used before. -- Susanne Jorgensen
19. Their behavior has changed. Your partner, who usually avoided office parties and events, is now constantly attending them "for the sake of their career." Or, your partner suddenly takes up and becomes obsessed with a new hobby or sport that keeps them away from home. Or, your partner who usually is home for dinner every night now "works late" and takes more frequent "business trips." -- Susanne Jorgensen
20. Their attitude has changed. Your laid back partner seems to have been injected with unusual enthusiasm, seems more happy, alive, energetic and is more kind and loving towards you, too. They may buy you more gifts and shower you with surprises, which, until now, has not been their natural character. --Susanne Jorgensen
21. They want less "we time" and more "me time." When you got together as a couple, you consciously or unconsciously negotiated how much "me time" you would have and how much "we time" you as a couple would have. Now, you are noticing a shift from "we" to your partner wanting much more "me" time. You aren't included to the degree you used to be in your partner's extra-curricular activities. -- Susanne Jorgense